KHAJURAHO’S (HIGHLY) EROTIC TEMPLES

It takes a lot to make me blush; but, Khajuraho’s erotically embellished temples certainly raised my eyebrows. Beyond the infamous kama sutra carvings, the sheer skill and craftsmanship on display were awesomely astonishing. I’d go as far as saying this World Heritage site houses the most beautiful temple art in the world. The diversity and level of detail would certainly give Angkor Wat a run for its money. Yet, it’s relatively “off the beaten track” and unknown outside of India.

Indeed, during the long drive from Varanasi to Goa, Ben and I decided to take a temple detour merely on a whim. Man, were we glad we did! At first glance, Khajuraho seemed like a small dusty town in the middle of nowhere. But, as soon as we stepped into the ancient grounds, we were surprised and delighted. What lay before us were the most immaculately manicured lawns we’d ever seen, with proudly preserved temples peppered around the place. It was like a mystical oasis.

Before long, a quirky elder was petitioning to be our guide. We’d heard local knowledge was worth its weight on gold, so we settled on a price and started the grand tour. Our trusty sidekick, Anante Khare, turned out to be incredibly well-versed in Indo-Aryan architecture. We soon discovered he’d been telling the temple’s tales since 1972! It was obvious he’d spent a lot of time around tourists – he took digital photos like a young pro. But, back to his stories…

Legend has it that Khajuraho was founded by Chandravarman, the son of the moon god Chandra, who descended on a beautiful maiden as she bathed in a stream. There were 85 temples in the compound originally, while only 25 remain today, revealing the burst of creative genius which took place from AD 950 to 1050. Khajuraho’s isolation helped preserve the temples from the desecration Muslim invaders inflicted on temples everywhere else; but, perhaps for the same reason, the area was slowly abandoned and many temples eventually fell into ruin.

Having said that, the ones that remain are spectacular. Around the outside of the temples are bands of exceedingly artistic stonework showing a storyboard of life from a millennium ago, including: deities, warriors, dancers, musicians, farmers, animals and mythological creatures. Throughout the compound, two elements appear repeatedly: women and sex.

The sensuous female figures have been carved with a half twist, making them swirl and dance playfully out from the flat stone. According to our guide, the “pure” women could be distinguished by their hands, which were placed tantalisingly over their breasts to reveal their unmet urges. The women who’d already enjoyed sexual pleasure were portrayed with a “dishevelled undercarriage” and open sari, as though they were still caught up in the afterglow and had forgotten themselves. Our guide could also decipher the age of the women by comparing their boobs to fruit. “Young girl have the breast like lemon, young woman have the breast like ripe mango.” They looked more like bolt-on melons to me!

Next we moved on to the liberally embellished kama sutra carvings, which have put Khajuraho on the map. Beyond the obvious religious and community purposes the temples served, they also provided an educational function – sex education to be more precise. Our straight-faced guide shared some lessons with us, as if he was describing how to cook samosa. Lesson #1: If you want to have sex with someone who’s not your wife without getting her pregnant, opt for oral sex or “butt fun”. Lesson #2: if your husband has a skin disease, prescribe him a high dose of sulphur in the form of sexual relations with a horse. I can’t recall being taught these things in sex-ed!

While the erotic carvings of Khajuraho are certainly eye-opening, the graphic content shouldn’t detract from the meticulous and masterful stonework. It’s also important to approach the temples with an open mind, as they are open to interpretation. As one of my Insta followers put it, “They are a delight for the eclectic traveller seeking truth about love as a form of worship”. That comment made me see things a whole lot differently.

TEMPLE TIPS

• Stay at the Radisson Hotel and scour Agoda for cheap deals. It’s a true sanctuary, located just around the corner from the temples and away from the chaotic tout ‘n’ tourist zone.
• Eat at the Mediterraneo Restaurant. It’s officially one of my favourite places to feast in India. Mouth-watering Italian meals in the middle of India, who’d of thought? The thin-crust pizzas are to die for and they’re cooked in a wood-fired oven. The whole menu is made with love and attention to detail. It’s a must-try.
• If you want to see Khajuraho in its moment of glory, visit during the week-long Festival of Dances (Feb/March), when the Western Group of temples becomes a stage of fun-filled action.
• Opt for a tour guide. For a decent price, they offer a library of information which can’t be beaten. Plus, it’s entertaining listening to their stories about the kama sutra carvings. You’ll find them milling around the main entrance gate.
• Head to the temples for mid-afternoon so you can capture them with a golden glow. Finish your tour by taking epic sunset pics.

HAPPY DAY 14 // THE TEMPLES OF ANGKOR

The clock struck four, when Ben’s phone told us it was time to get our butts out of bed. Today was a special day, so I wasn’t in my usual pre-breakfast zombie-like state. Despite the fact that it was closer to my bedtime than my usual waking time, I felt energised. The infamous Angkor Wat was waiting for us.

After a quick tuk-tuk ride and the usual ticketing booth formalities, we commenced the walk towards that enchanting, world-renowned silhouette, our anticipation building with each step. The deep beat of jungle drums drifted through the air, setting the mood perfectly. The impressive crowd of tourists was in a quiet trance-like state, waiting for the stage lights to switch on and the star attraction to make itself known. For now, Angkor Wat was sitting in the shadows, lit only by a thin lip of burnt orange and fuschia. And so we waited…

As we ensconced ourselves in the dewy grass and sat back with our sugar-loaded coffees, the sun slowly came out to play. The glassy dam between us and the Mother of all Temples captured her reflection in all of its glory. As Angkor Wat rose from her slumber, it seemed like she’d brought a mirror to her face just to make sure everything was in order before we snapped away like crazed paparazzi.

After the big moment had come and gone, it was time to enter the gates of Angkor Wat and take a closer look. She was more magnificent than I’d imagined – like a long-limbed lady covered in ornate henna tattoos. Her walls and corridors stretched far and wide, every inch of them covered in curious engravings, stunning motifs and precious sculptures.

The wave of tourists quickly dissipated, as people wandered off in different directions and got lost amongst the endless network of hallways and doorways. The architectural symmetry was simply genius, messing with my head like a giant mirrored maze. Every way I looked and turned, there was a stunning, rustic frame staring back at me. It was a photographer’s paradise.

Soon it was time to move on to Bayon, the next temple in our tour. We went on the hunt for our tuk-tuk driver, which proved to be a serious challenge. The carpark looked like it was hosting a tuk-tuk rally. At this point, we realised we should have photographed our driver and his vehicle before wandering off.

Eventually we heard our voices being called in the distance – once lost, we’d been found. After a short drive, our team of three was delivered to the doorstep of Bayon, which captured our attention immediately. Decorated with 126 mammoth faces, it’s thought to be a narcissistic shrine to King Jayavarman VII, the mastermind behind the Temples of Angkor. Witnessing the majesty of his vision, I couldn’t help but think he had the right to be pleased with himself.

Next, it was time to tackle the popular Temple of Ta Prohm. A perfect union between divine ruins and mother nature, it was nothing short of spectacular. The roots of the silk-cotton trees had grown through the temple walls like veins keeping a heart alive. I could see why Tomb Raider had been filmed here. The atmosphere was truly magical. I found myself being transported back to the 12th Century, when Ta Prohm had housed hundreds of dancers, high priests, gold, pearls, silks and beyond. It sounded like a dream.

Over the course of the next couple of hours we went on to view a few more historic sites. They were all dwarfed by Angkor Wat and its cool cousins. As my husband put it, “It’s hard to get excited by foreplay after sex.” Having said that, watching the sun rise over Angkor Wat proved to be a memorable, must-see moment. In hindsight, we should have bought a three-day pass, so we could better appreciate the lesser known attractions and work our way up to the main event.

To complete our once-in-a-lifetime experience of Angkor Wat, we decided to see the grounds from a different perspective – “gibbon view”. I’d been craving an adrenalin rush for a while and Flight of the Gibbon sounded right up my alley. Guiding us through a series of sky-high zip lines, tree houses and bridge walks, it certainly got my heart pumping. I’m usually good with heights, but when our tiny 150m-high platform started swaying in the wind, I quickly conjured up an escape plan. Surely jumping towards the nearest branch and holding on for dear life would save me?

After three hours of flying between the trees, our group finally had the swing of things. I was racing across the barely-there bridges and dangling from the wires like a pro-gibbon – no sweat. I could see why Flight of the Gibbon was killing it on Trip Advisor. The experience was the right kind of challenging and certainly thrilling, offering a change of pace to the temple tours. And, by the end of the day, I was all “templed out”.